Here is a conundrum: My seven-year-old son wants to sign the Open Letter. (So do his 11-year-old brother and 13-year-old sister, for that matter.)
I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, I am thrilled that he wants to be supportive of his friends and mentors who happen to be lesbian, gay or bi. He has grown up knowing that people can love each other and be family in configurations different than the one in our household. His “normal” is certainly different than the one I grew up with. I am well aware that I am teaching my children a reading of the bible that not everyone agrees with. If we are honest, we all have our preferred translation and interpretation.
On the other hand, I don’t want to be accused of manipulating my children for political reasons. I am uncomfortable when I see children at pro-life rallies holding up gruesome posters. It feels like the children are being used by their parents to make a point.
At what age are children able to make a decision to be political or speak out? What is the age of accountability when it comes to speaking out against injustice? As Anabaptists we adhere to believer’s baptism. Should we also practice believer’s activism?
I am trying to teach my children about peace and justice, treating people fairly and lovingly. Just because they don’t entirely understand what that means for their les/bi/gay friends, does that mean they can’t speak out or sign the letter? (Though my 11-year-old said the other day, unsolicited, that he wants to sign the letter because it is just like when black people were treated badly because of the color of their skin.)
Maybe we should have a children’s page, a place where kids can make their own comments about what this means for them and their friends and families.
How do you talk about justice with children? What are children teaching you?
Cynthia Lapp
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My 13 year old and 9 year old wants to sign as well. The 13 year old is a baptised member of our church so I think that means she can sign and be counted as an adult beleiver. The 9 year old is the question for me.
ReplyDeleteMy 9 year old is passionate because she belongs to Presbyterian Arts community that is radically accepting and has done work around teasing. They had actively taught the kids how to (and how not to) relate to friends with GBLT parents. She has friends with all kinds of families and could give lessons to some adults in what it looks like to care for people.
We talked to her about church policy when a friend of hers wanted to come to our church but her mom is reluctant due to our church policies. She has two moms and they are (rightfully) concerned about what their child will hear.
Nevertheless, I think that I will still have her wait to publicly sign for her convictions. First, I agree that I find kids (and babies) being used as tools in this debate distasteful. I have had personal experience with this kind of manipulation of children within the MCUSA so I don't have to think of strangers -- but people I have thought of as friends when I try to be cautious around this issues. I also think that my convictions around believers baptism make me cautious of children declaring their beliefs. Finally, I don't think that children can appreciate the repressions of signing.
So, my oldest has signed, my middle will be allowed to sign and the youngest will wait.
Hopefully the youngest will find that by the time she is a baptized believer (I pray) signing will be unnecessary.